Ruling
on the things that lead to zina – kissing, touching and being alone together.
What is
the ruling on one who is intimate with women but does not commit zina, i.e.
kissing etc?.
Praise
be to Allaah.
Zina
(adultery, fornication) does not refer only to penetration, rather there is the
zina of the hand, which is touching that which is forbidden, and the zina of
the eyes, which is looking at that which is forbidden, even though zina that is
committed with the private parts, is the zina which is punishable with the hadd
punishment.
It was
narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina,
which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the
tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that
or deny it.”
Narrated
by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.
It is
not permissible for the Muslim to long for the things that lead to zina, such
as kissing, being alone, touching and looking, for all these things are haraam
and lead to the greater evil which is zina.
Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that
transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell
unless Allaah Forgives him)”
[al-Isra’
17:32]
Looking
at that which is forbidden is one of the arrows of the Shaytaan, which leads a
person to doom, even if he did not do it intentionally at first. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell
the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and
protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them.
Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.
And tell
the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and
protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”
[al-Noor
24:30-31]
Think
about how Allaah connects the issue of lowering the gaze with the issue of
protecting the private parts (guarding one’s chastity) in these verses, and how
lowering the gaze is mentioned first, before protecting the private parts,
because the eye influences the heart.
Shaykh
‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
In these
two verses, Allaah commands the believing men and women to lower their gaze and
guard their chastity, which is because of the serious nature of zina and what
it leads to of great corruption among the Muslims. Letting one's gaze wander
freely is one of the causes of sickness in the heart and the occurrence of
immoral actions, whereas lowering the gaze is one of the means of keeping
oneself safe from that. Hence Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell
the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and
protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them.
Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.”
[al-Noor
24:30]
Lowering
one’s gaze and guarding one’s chastity is purer for the believer in this world
and in the Hereafter, whereas letting one’s gaze wander freely and not guarding
one's chastity are among the greatest causes of doom and punishment in this
world and in the Hereafter. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
Allaah
tells us that He is All-Aware of what people do, and that nothing is hidden
from Him. This is a warning to the believer against doing that which Allaah has
forbidden and turning away from that which Allaah has prescribed for him, and
it is a reminder to him that Allaah sees him and knows all that he does,
whether it is good or otherwise. As Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“Allaah
knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal”
[Ghaafir
40:19]
End
quote. From al-Tabarruj wa Khataruhu.
The
Muslim has to fear his Lord in secret and in public, and keep away from that
which Allaah has forbidden of being alone with a member of the opposite sex,
looking, shaking hands, kissing and other haraam actions which lead to the
immoral action of zina.
The
sinner should not be deceived into thinking that he will not commit zina and
that he will stop at these haraam actions and not go that far, for the Shaytaan
will never leave him alone. There is no hadd punishment for these haraam
actions, such as kissing etc., because the hadd punishment is only for
intercourse (zina), but the judge may punish him with a ta’zeer punishment to
deter him and others like him from committing these sins.
Ibn
al-Qayyim said:
Ta’zeer
punishments may be prescribed for every sin for which there is no hadd
punishment or specific expiation (kafaarah), for sins are of three kinds: those
for which there is a hadd punishment but no kafaarah is required; those for
which kafaarah is required but there is no hadd punishment; and those for which
there is neither a hadd punishment nor kafaarah. The first type includes such
crimes as stealing, drinking alcohol, zina and slander. The second includes
having intercourse during the day in Ramadaan, or when in ihraam. The third
type includes having intercourse with a slave woman who is owned jointly with
someone else, kissing a non-mahram woman and being alone with her, entering the
public baths without a waist wrapper, eating dead meat, blood and pork, and so
on.
I’laam
al-Muwaqqa’een, 2/77
The
person who has committed any of these actions has to repent to Allaah, for
whoever repents Allaah will accept his repentance, and the one who repents is
like one who did not sin.
One of
the greatest means of expiation for such sins is offering the five daily
prayers regularly and on time. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “The five daily prayers, and from one Jumu’ah to the next, and
from one Ramadaan to the next, expiates for the sins that come in between, so
long as you avoid major sins.” Narrated by Muslim, 1/209
And
Allaah knows best.
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